The Lake
by Jillcb
Summary: It is just after Gwen's coronation, and with the royal couple settling into married life, Merlin starts to feel lonely. He decides to take a trip to the lake where he buried Freya in the hope that he is able to spend some time with his former love.


Merlin had as usual been busy, his chores seemed to increase almost daily now. His life which before had barely enough time for him, was rapidly becoming even less so. After Gwen's coronation a new list of responsibilities had been thrust onto his shoulders. At times he felt they would burst under the immediate weight. Not only that, but it was a time of year that he always struggled with.

As he sat down on a fallen tree in the forest, taking a break from collecting herbs for Gaius, he tried to count the years, since he'd last seen her. It was already too many, and each year that came seemed to become harder to bear. He was delighted for Arthur and Gwen of course, but the fact that they had married and doubtless Gwen would soon be expecting, reminded Merlin that this was something that he and Freya would never experience.

He closed his eyes at the mention of her name. Freya, so lovely, gentle and someone who he felt he could share his life with, with no boundaries. Some one who understood exactly what he was, there was never any secrets between them. Arthur and Gwen did their best of course, but it could never be the same. They did not possess magic. They never had to live with the conflict of it everyday as Merlin did.

He never felt as lonely, as he did now. He felt as though the shadows he hid in were getting longer by the month. Now that Arthur was pulling ahead with his plans to unite Albion it seemed as if problems arrived on an almost daily basis. At times he felt swamped with endless tasks, all requiring his immediate attention. Not to mention the chores that still seemed to grow by the bucketful now that Arthur was a married man.

Gwen did her best to help him out, but in truth she was still find her feet in being Queen. Gaius was getting on, so Merlin put himself forward to help him more, which meant that he was often late for his work for Arthur. The King as ever lost little time in reminding Merlin where his main job was. Not for the first time Merlin felt as though he was being pulled in so many directions and all the time, his memory of his lost love haunted his mind endlessly.

As he sat there taking in the forest around him, he closed his eyes and surrendered to his mind. Suddenly he made a decision, he would visit their lake. Damn his chores, Arthur will have to darn his own socks for once. He followed the woodland path, which led to the lake, and as he did he suddenly felt free of all his worries. It was as if he had entered another world. His footsteps seemed lighter, he saw more things with his eyes, heard more sounds with his ears. It was as if the woodland was alive with a show just for him.

He stopped for a second to smell the spring flowers that Freya had loved so much. He picked one, an offering for her. Never would he go to see her empty-handed. He could sense the lake up ahead, every time he went there, the same feeling overcame him. It was as if he had just entered another country, the atmosphere was entirely different, to the woodland he had just walked through. Here it was silent, except for the ripples in the lake, and the occasional blow of the wind across the water, rustling the trees.

As he stood by the lake, he closed his eyes and yes he could sense her nearby. It was as if he could hear her laughter around him, as if he could feel her hand softly caressing his. At times he could surrender himself entirely to it. Suddenly he could feel it. He knew she was right by him, he could feel her fingers caress his face, and stroke his hair. As he opened his eyes, he could see her face over the lake, her eyes laughing gently just for him.

"My Freya." He whispered aloud.

"Merlin, my love what a surprise." She would reply. They were but yards away from each other, with eyes only for each other.

He offered her the flower. "I thought of you." He smiled, still shy after all this time.

"It's beautiful." Then they would embrace, and Merlin would surrender his emotions stroking her hair, before eventually they kissed, and in this moment he would off happily stopped living. Any thing for his Freya.

"You remembered." She smiled.

"I will always remember you my love." He replied.

"You are troubled." Freya said softly.

"I just miss you so much Freya."

"Merlin I will always be here for you. You must always remember that. You have a lot on, but you must know, I will never let you down."

"I know Freya I am lucky." Tears glistened in his eyes as they held hands, and he took in every bit of her face, while he could see her. Around them a noise suddenly occurred, and Merlin cursed knowing that soon the vision of Freya would disappear, and he would soon be alone again.

"I wish you didn't have to go." He murmured.

"You being here will give you the strength to continue, Merlin. But I make a promise to you, I will always be here waiting for you, never forget that."

He closed his eyes as he felt her kiss his lips, wanting it to never end. But suddenly, he was on his own, as he opened his eyes it was just a lake. He blinked back tears, before giving one last look around before starting on his journey back to Camelot. The only memento of his experience a red rose petal, he held it in his hand all the way back.

2


End file.
